I presented the the first installation of the The Big Picture film project today in front of fellow peers and faculty members at the School of New Media at Indiana University (Indianapolis). For the first time I feel relieved... The presentation went off without a hitch, and the website, dvd, raw illustrations and entire process were displayed with appropriate goodness. A whole four months of planning just for one day. I guess I've never taken into consideration just how much effort and energy we as people put into doing something we are determined to do.
I had to learn determination pretty damn quick this semester, which is what I've learned from this project. I had to also learn how to manage my time... a fickle idea to some, but the most important to me if I wanted to maintain sanity and get this project done on time. Time.. is something we never have enough of, how cliche. Our clocks are ticking.. are pages turning.. and are days coming and going.. I made something today that made time stop in my heart for .... i would say.. about 30 minutes. The words are useless to describe that.
Two things I would have talked about more are how I took on issues of usability and a slight discussion on copyright and trademark. I want this movie to go somewhere someday, I plan on dropping this movie off to every film festival I can find, every company who wants to see it.. I'm trying to find my calling here, and if this isn't the hugest push I've ever received, I don't know what else there is. I'm sure as hell not goin' back to those mines, I can tell you that right now.
I'm constantly testing my own usability... how do I fit into this big scheme of life? Why did I just graduate college? What am I going to do with my diploma? How am I going to soak that damn piece of paper up for all its worth? And how will I do it without getting a head of myself, or becoming Mr. Fancypants Hollywood? Well, that's an easy one because I never want to be that, so Hollywood is out of the question. I'm talking underground.. independent people.. independent artists that all share the same common bond. What do I want to do after I graduate? I want to play music with my band going from show to show across the world, I want to perform awesome public exhibits, I want to create and illustrate books and magazines and everything else that can use a piece of my art. I want to create a film that will change lives... I want the world to be a bit peaceful. I made this movie to be a positive role model to other artists and to other people who believe that we can create positive change in this world if we tap into positive thoughts in people's minds.
It's all subliminal, baby.... Every last drop.
I would like to not work a desk job my whole life, because my gut is starting to get rounder, and I'm becoming more lazy. These computers I've worked on for so long are starting to wear me thin.. my eyes are glued to the monitor as I type this. I want out, and if this movie is my way out.. then I'm going to put every ounce of energy into it, so that I get out. So that I can finally be to this world what I was made to be... A litte kid drawing pictures.
Thank you and goodnight..... sincerely, kevin fitzpatrick